Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
