Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
