I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
