Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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