butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
