epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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