How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
