mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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