I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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