I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
