Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
