I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
