Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
