I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
