TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
