I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
