She said her name was "party"
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
