Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
