I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
