I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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