the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
