For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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