one might say we're banned from that church
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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