he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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