She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
