I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
