I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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