can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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