Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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