this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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