I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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