just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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