just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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