Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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