Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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