How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
