he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
