Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
