she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
