New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
