That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
whose parrot is this?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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