her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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