I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
