my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
