I need help removing her.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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