I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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