Will you blow on my dice?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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