East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
