My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
