Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
