Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
jump out the window naked night went bad
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
