I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
