I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
