Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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