I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
