hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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