It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
